This is the next page for the Piano and the Boy story which I am working on towards entering for next year. Took me a while to work out how to portray something at night time because everything is normally in daylight. There is a outerglow on the window as well to show the light emanating out but also to show as if something magical is coming from the room, lighting up the night.
I've changed the tint to a more of a brick look and muted the light, the text also has a small shadow because it didnt stand out on its own.
white text is not legible enough, plus I feel the mouse is too symmetrically positioned, bricks look odd too? But I'm quite taken by the colour - However I don't think your idea of a change of colour is working, because the palette you use is just too weird - especially with the one with half the boy's face looking at the mechanical parts
ReplyDeleteyeah ill mute the colours and maybe change the purple to a blue/black to correlate with the rest of the images so far. although it will look a bit depressing if i stick to blue and black for everything lol i know it looks like a rainbow has thrown up onto that mechanical one, ill do somethign with that.
ReplyDeleteim going to change the mouse because yeah it looks like its been told to sit in the middle (if it were a real mouse) so its symmetrical.
i think it needs more attention too- i might give it a cheeky lantern to hold. ill redraw it big and shrink it like ive just done for the tnnel one.
whats up with the bricks :S is it because they're purple?
any builder will tell you there's an established pattern to building a wall - it seems like you've gone a bit random, and then when it gets to the top of the building they look more like space invaders (though I think your idea of showing wear by not having all the lines makes for a more interesting image) - I actually like the colours - don't go the other way and feel you can only be a duotone man - My criticism was aimed mainly at the mechanical one :)
ReplyDeleteyou just said the palette was too weird lol yeah i copied the bricks on the top part from my house- thats the way they are laid :S ive done that deliberately yeah because it looked really monotonous with all the bricks in rows last time i drew it in that way.
ReplyDeletewhat do you think of this version?
I'll jump in here I think- I like the colour palette, and I don't think there's any real problem with the wall, but I agree about the mouse symmetry and the white type, although it doesn't overly bother me. I think the whole image is lovely except for the boy's shadows body shape, something about it doesn't sit with the rest of the image? The tonal quality is awesome, overall it's looking badass.
ReplyDeleteah! mummyrah you may have seen it after he muted the colours!1
ReplyDeleteI don't like the text that says the poor town he lived in - hey this guy is playing a piano in what looks like is a semi detached house - how poor is he!! hahaah!
ReplyDeleteis mummyrah murray's mums nickname :)
ReplyDeletenah actually the town is poor along with the houses HOWEVER they had scraped just enough money together to get one tiny facade of the house done up which is why it looks rather out of snyc with everything else.
okay im guilty, i copied my own semidetached house so it does suspiciously look a lot like he is in a semi detached house :)
im redrawing the mouse as i type so ill finish that and shift it over to the left so it doesnt look so perfectly symmetrical. thanks for both of yours advice
draw the mouse at a slight angle next time? Or are you aiming for a flat on style - which i think is perfectly reasonable if you want it :)
ReplyDeleteMummyRah is murrayRah's new alter ego
haha okay im upto speed now. so im guessing murray dresses in drag to achieve the look of mummyrah.
ReplyDeleteive just finished redrawing the mouse, its still head on but much more detailed and he's holding a lantern which ill also put a glow on to give it attention. ill update this post with it soon.